Batman Meets Dr P
by xoxomtmodnarxoxo
Summary: From the writer of "Batman meets the Bee", Batman has to go to a session to see Dr. P. Will He survive? More random and hilarious crap for people who love Batman suffering or random stuff lolz!


**Batman meets Dr P.**

Hey guysez! I'm Glad you all liked the story Batman Meets The Bee. 

_So I've decided to treat you with another story, and this time it was MY idea lolz take that Ben! :P_

Dr. Ps name has been kept confidential for confidential reasons, and to save embarrassment!! lolz!

_Enjoy!_

_** ** ** **_

Jim Gordon caught Batman stomping across the office of his station.

"Batman! Batman!"

Batman continued to ignore him. Jim tried once more.

"**Batman!!!**", he roared. Everyone stared at him.

"Is he gay for Batman?", one officer whispered to someone. It was meant to be a joke but Jim grew embarrassed that someone nearly found out his secret. Batman suddenly turned round at Jim's voice.

"Batman! We have a problem!", he began. Batman looked puzzled and suddenly took out his earphones. Blasting from the earphones was _Dancing Queen_ by Abba.

"Sorry. I was listening to my favourite song", growled Batman, switching his iPod off.

"Batman, the Joker is at large again. He robbed nuns in the city centre, and then gave candy to a four year old kid. Citizens are worried. What do we do?"

"Joker? He can wait. I have to see a professional today, Gordon"

"But-"

"Gordon, if I don't go I'm likely to gay rape Dent. I MUST GO"

Batman ran outside and drove away on his Batpod. Jim stared after him wistfully. He sighed. _He is **SO** mysterious!, _he thought to himself.

** ** ** **

Batman appeared at the Community centre half an hour later. He stomped inside, his cape swishing in the way, causing him to trip. When he reached his destination, Batman realised the room was empty, except a man who was having fun stapling papers. The Man saw Batsy hovering at the door.

"Ah! Good day to you, sir!", exclaimed the man," I'm Dr Roy P. I'm here to help you succeed in life!"

Dr P. held his hand out to Batman,"Do you know why I'm shaking your hand? Because you are individual in your own way! And everyone loves you for it!"

"Dent doesn't", growled Batman.

Dr P. gestured Batsy to sit at a table. So Batsy did. Dr P. smiled at Batman in a peculiar way possible.

"Right! Let's start with a simple exercise! I'll give you a piece of paper, and you write down as many words you can think of associated with the word I come out with, understood?"

"Yeah"

"Yipee! Let's start!", Dr P. got out his stopwatch,"My Word is... sex! On your marks, get set ... go!"

Batman scribbled down his answers. He was confused how this man could stop him violating Harvey Dent, but if he was a professional, then so shall it be done. Fifteen seconds later, Dr P. stopped his stopwatch.

"**STOP!**", he shouted. Batman jumped 10 feet in the air, nearly crapping himself. He glared at Dr. P.

"Alrighty, let's see what you've written!", said Dr P.. He looked at Batman's answers -

**1. Pie**

**2. Harvey Dent (Get the hint!)**

**3. Man**

**4. Woman**

**5. Bonk**

**6. *Ahem***

**7. Jim's granny**

**8. Dr. Crane (Oh yeah!)**

**9. RACHUUUUUULLLLLLL!!!!!!!**

**10. A Little bit of Woo-hoo!**

_Good God, _thought Dr. P., _I'm dealing with a looney!_

"Let's move on, shall we?", asked Dr. P., desperate to change the subject.

** ** ** **

"Let's try a mathematics challenge! On your marks... get set... GO!", called Dr. P.

Batman scribbled down his answers. Dr. P. stopped his stopwatch.

"**STOP**!", he shouted. Again, Batman nearly weed himself. Dr. P. looked at his answers.

"What on earth... since WHEN was 3x4=21?!", cried Dr. P. Batman lost his patience.

"**I'M NOT GOOD WITH CALCULATIONS!!!!!!**", roared Batman, and punched Dr. P. in the conkers.

** ** ** **

"Now... let's try a reading passage", said Dr. P. with a hint of irony," The passage is _The Night is dark just before the dawn _by Rachel Dawes"

Batman heard Rachel's name being mentioned.

"Rachel...? Rachel. **Rachel. RACHUUUUUUUUULLLLL**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!", roared Batman, having the occasional spaz attack he usually had.

** **

Meanwhile, Alfred was drinking a cup of tea when he shivered randomly.

"Oh, my God! Master Wayne forgot to take his medication this morning!", he cried.

** **

"**GET OUT of my session!!!!!!**", roared Dr. P.. Batman was bewildered. What had he done? Dr. P. slammed the door on him.

"Does that mean I'll probably rape Dent?", called Batman. There was no response.

Just then Harvey Dent walked down the hallway.

"Well, hello there Harvey...", growled Batman seductively.

The end! :S I'd rather not think what happened next! lolz! thnx 4 reading!


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